One of the reasons I wasn’t so stoked about January(not like anyone forced me)was because I had paid for this language test the month before and I felt ‘burdened’ with the responsibility of not letting myself down.
While I was preparing for this language test, a close person who had written the test twice and did very well offered assistance but I refused it.
-Mostly because I wanted to prove a point. Was it worth it? Maybe.
-I didn’t want to look or feel weak.
I knew I could write the test without ‘help’ and I wanted to. I had doubts but I did it anyway. My ego wouldn’t let me ask for help even when I wanted to— a beautiful mess!
Yeah, I was scared, I could have failed and it would have been my fault. So, I spent hours going through essays, sourcing for materials online, writing and assessing myself. Honestly, It was quite difficult but I was stubborn and determined, determined to do it and get it right as that was the only choice anyway.
Yes, I did it! I got the required band score—it felt great. However, it reinforced that thought and attitude of… I can do it ALL by myself and that’s dangerous, don’t you think?
Give me five minutes, let me quickly put on the scribes and Sadducees outfit.
I’m back and I’m telling you: DO AS I SAY, NOT AS I DO!
This was me in December who refused ‘readymade’ help, let my ego get the better part of me while wanting to prove that I could do it all alone and here I am in March, telling you to seek help when necessary.
Asking for help is not weakness. Though it makes us vulnerable, there’s massive strength in vulnerability. I believe that a part of finding courage in our troubles is seeking help and knowing when to.
Obviously, we can’t do everything by ourselves. No man is an island—fact!Most of the time, we need help but we don’t want to ask for it. Now, from experience, I believe this is not worth the stress and trouble.
What do you think? Isn’t it more profitable to get help when you can and save valuable time for other important things in your life? Like romance of course!
We can’t always do it alone. We need people, people need us. We should not just survive but thrive and we need to be part of a community to flourish. It takes a village to raise a child, we need a community we can rely on and who can rely on us. Find your community, know your tribe and seek help from it.
Don’t ask me how, I’m learning too!
Elsa Majimbo said in one of the episodes of the Professional Troublemaker,‘’…with chess, it depends on pieces protecting other pieces. Who’s protecting you? Who’s behind you? Who you can rely on? You can be strong enough, but even the queen can’t survive alone…’’
‘No man is an island’ was coined by the English metaphysical poet John Donne (1572-1631).
It appears in Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions and Seuerall Steps in my Sicknes – Meditation XVII, 1624:
‘’No man is an island entire of itself,
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.’’
Lovelies, check out the whole poem if you are so interested.
The title of this piece could easily have been ‘No man is an island’ but what’s the fun in famzing with John Donne?
Love and Peace Always!